September 16, 2004

Story! *Shudder* It scared me...

     Okay, I know I've been promising a story for a while and I finally have one. This one's a tad creepier than usual, and that's saying a lot considering how creepy my usual stories are. The story will be below, but here's just some general fyi stuff. Now up and running is This is meant to be more of an "in school" thing, but if you are chatless in some other city, it's open for all. You really shouldn't change any of the Information except for Nickname and Real name unless you know what you're doing. Aside from that, I purchased legitimate Azumanga Daioh DVDs 1-4 and I'll have to wait for 5 and 6 to come out before I can buy them. The scary thing? It cost me $90.90 for just these 4 dvds! AHHHHHH!!!!! But, I like Azumanga Daioh enough to the point where I'm willing to support the studio. Okay, enough of that! Here's the story! Enjoy!

The Subway
By Kit Sczudlo

     I heard them. I pulled my jacket tighter and shivers ran up and down my spine. They sounded like people screaming through lips that couldn’t get out of an “O” shape. The lights from the wall outside the subway flashed by in regular intervals, which showed the group of sad, disheveled people scattered throughout the train. These days, the train wouldn’t even stop unless someone pulled the stop line. And even then, the doors only opened in that section of the train. The train began to slow, the old brakes screeching us to a grinding halt. Someone in another car had pulled the line. Some of the people in my train glanced up to see the man leave. He had a bag in one hand, and a heady coat and hood that almost completely covered him. His appearances weren’t odd, but he was alone, which is a very odd sight in these subways. As the train began to lurch away, the man off the train glanced hurriedly back before he began to walk as fast as possible to the escalators. Many watched as we pulled away, wondering weather he would make it to the top before they got him.

     The train always made an odd sound as it pulled away, it sounded like a combination of a TV powering on and old, squeaky tires lurching into motion. It almost sounded as if the train was screaming as the power surged through it… More sounds came from above. Bloodcurdling cries from them. We passed the last stop before mine. The last stop before most people had to get off the train. I reached out from the cover of my coat and pulled the line. As I pulled the line snapped on one side. The usual ding which accompanied the line being pulled still rang, and as I looked up from the wire in my hand, the people in the train were staring at me. They all had such a spooked look, their faces looked so hollow. It seemed like they had all been on the train for years, and it had worn away at their sanity, sucking all emotion from their faces. They were all pale, as if they were afraid that we wouldn’t be able to leave because of the mistake I had made. But the familiar sound of screeching soon began, and they all looked away from me. The train stopped, I got up and shuffled to the door, I didn’t want to make myself any more known than I already was.

     The doors opened unto the station. It was covered in graffiti and the few remaining lights cast a sickly yellow light which covered only half the station. The center of the station was filled with debris. What looked like it was once a bench was now a big pile of rock with “FELDOR RULEZ” written in large, sloppy letters on it. There was a couple of odd shaped frames filled with garbage that had once had large colorful advertisements on them. Several people on the train I was on began to hurriedly shuffle along with me. We exited onto the platform, and began the agonizingly long journey out of the station. There was a small sort of half-escalator which connected the platform to a slightly higher one. Neither of these escalators worked anymore, and the city could no longer afford the armed guards to protect the technitions who worked on the dilapidated system.

     Several other trains had people getting off as well. It was like a race, who ever was last, would be a feast for them. I made it to the escalator, and ran up the stairs, my heart began to beat faster, as I could hear their cries get closer to the station. I was in a full out sprint as I got to the top, I heard a scream and whipped around long enough to see the man at the far end of the station getting pulled into the tunnel. I ran. Past the fare machines, I didn’t care if I hadn’t paid, I wasn’t going to die today. Their cries got even closer, there must be at least ten of them from the sounds of it. My coat began to whip around at my sides. I could see the first person get to the escalators ahead of me. I was almost there. Another scream, no… two… three! They were taking down people fast I had to escape, I wasn’t going to die today… I grabbed the side rail and began to dash up the escalator, I could hear them, I could see the light at the top of the stairs. The man ahead of me was almost there, I could be too… I began to fall back, there were to many stairs, and I felt it. An arm on my shoulder, I was still running, but my feet weren’t on the ground anymore.

     “no…” I said, the blue arm was across my chest, carrying me like a child. Back into the darkness… “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I wasn’t going to die today…

Posted by Kickmyassman at September 16, 2004 07:04 PM

Very nice story, but you crept the shit out of me with that "blue arm" thingy ... I liked the beginning the most ... then I started losing you closer to the end ... but the end (even though weird) almost makes you feel like you are really there. Nice job. Show your english teacher.

Posted by: AP Java Freshman at September 17, 2004 05:40 AM

Wow, that's some serious creepiness. Well-written, though. You've got this whole Poe thing going for you. I tried to write a creepy-ish story a while ago, and it kind of sucked.

Posted by: Rebecca at September 17, 2004 09:29 PM

As I always say, sell it on EBay!

Posted by: Felipe at September 17, 2004 10:53 PM
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