So as I wind down to the last week before Spring Break I find myself thinking about the blog again. Of course it still just sits here and I come around and clean up the spam comments (not more than 10 or 15 a month), but I still feel like I should have something to post here... shouldn't I? I kind of feel like I've been lacking in originality lately. I just haven't had anything particularly interesting to say or do over the past month or so. Sure I've been playing weird board games like Laser Battle (not to be confused with the terrible movie Laser Mission) and programming cool stuff like a standard PWM to servo-PWM translator, but it hasn't really been original, it's just interesting. I'd still like to finish both of the D & D campaigns I set out to start, I just haven't really felt motivated to do it. A big part of it is just that I haven't really had the creative juices flowing recently, it's been more like a trickle.
I guess I'm also just feeling a little flabbergasted by how a lot of the stuff I'm doing here is still way above what everyone else is doing. Even the professor for one of my classes has no idea how I'm doing some of the work I'm doing and he's teaching the class! I guess for some of the questions I have I kind of feel like I should be a sophomore or junior, which is a little disappointing. Though I probably could have tested out of some of my classes and that would have helped, but a big part of the problem is that I still feel like I'm learning a lot in the classes because I'm self-taught for most of these things so although my skills are far more honed than my peers, I still have a lot of spots in the foundation of my skills. So what should I do? Fly headfirst into the tougher material and just hope that what's missing in my foundation is filled in as I go along? Or do I continue to take classes that are a little bit easier than I'd like, and finish learning all the basics before moving on?
And now that I'm in uuber-complain-mode+, I also find it a strange feeling that suddenly it doesn't feel like "I've got a lot of time to think about work in the future," it feels like if I don't decide NOW there's going to be some serious consequences. I know a lot of that is self-imposed belief that I can't back out after applying for a job without looking bad (which isn't really true), but I can't shake it and it's kind of stagnating me. Blar, I need to get my shit together. I also should really be working on homework or sleeping, but of course that's not happening.